Strange chants: part eleven

I’ve not thought of many ‘strange chants’ for a while now, I suppose most things football fans chant are reasonably self explanatory and don’t really qualify as being strange (plus there seems to be a general dearth of genuinely witty new chants surfacing from the fans these days, with the odd one-off exception at away matches).  This one wouldn’t be strange, were it not for the fact that you still hear it even this season!

You are my Forest
My only Forest
You make me happy
When skies are grey
You never notice
How much I love you
So please don’t take
My Forest away

It goes to the tune of ‘you are my sunshine’ and I suppose is indicative of that unconditional love we have that leads us to torture ourselves with watching Forest week in week out.  Certainly the last few weeks, when the weather has been mild and the football’s been shite, I’d be more inclined to sing “you make be miserable, when skies are blue!”, but still – I suppose it isn’t particularly strange, but it does raise a wry smile when it goes up even during the most drab and dire performance (and let’s face it, there’s plenty to choose from this season!).

Although I quite like the section suggesting that this love is unrequieted, because that feels very much how things are at the moment whether it be the ‘powers that be’, the manage or the players – part of that is our own doing, because we’re impatient – that said, we got nearly 28,000 at the City Ground, in Division Three, despite staring down the barrel of a third season in this shit league – we may grumble a bit, but we still turn up!

Strange chants: part ten

It’s been a while since we’ve had one of these, this one I can’t remember much before the late 90’s, and is generally used as a ‘put down’ I suppose.  It’s ubiquitous amongst Forest and just about every other set of fans I’ve encountered, and I find it ever-so-slightly odd and a bit banale (although I must admit, unlike the ‘Easeh Easeh Easeh!’ chant, I have been known to join in with it).

Imagine that the opponents had a near miss, or a disallowed goal – so the almost-cheer goes up, followed by the sullen silence, cue us to unleash:

“Who are ya?
Who are ya?
Who are ya?”

Coupled with pointing gestures.  Why do we do that?  It’s abundantly obvious who we’re playing – you hear their name before the game, it’s on the scoreboard, your programme, you saw it on the fixture list when you were checking if there was a game that day… it’s a bizarre one!  I’m sure there must be a more witty riposte to a near-miss, or a feeble chant from opposing fans than this!

Strange chants: part nine

Definitely not a Forest-only chant, although we seem to have a slight variation compared to most teams.  But you will hear this from fans ranging from Manchester United or Chelsea, right down to the Boston United or Notts County’s of this world; and frankly, well, for the vast majority of us it’s a very strange chant indeed.  I shall run with the Forest version:

“And it’s No-tt-ing-ham Fo-rest..
Nottingham Forest FC!
We’re by far the greatest team,
You’ll ever see!”
(repeat: last line for other clubs seems to be ‘The world has ever seen’)

It’s strange because even in my happiest and most blissful biasedness, I have seen greater teams than Forest, based on whatever measure you’d like to use (maybe I’d be less flippant if I were old enough to see the European Cup winners), so when you have fans of Scunthorpe United or Swansea City singing it up at you, it does make it all the more amusing.  It’s understandable, it’s a chant that symbolises our blind faith/support of our teams, but if you break it down it’s quite amusing given how hugely inaccurate it is!

Strange chants: part eight

Since ’tis the festive season (despite still being November – let’s face it, if you go by the average shop in town then Christmas starts in August anyway),  I thought it would be amusing to recall a festive chant, that I must admit I’ve not heard in a while – it amuses me as both an atheist and in the irreverent randomness of it – I mean, who thought to combine a Christmas Carol with a football chant?

“Away in a manger
No crib for a bed
The little Lord Jesus
Looked up and he said….

WE HATE DERBY!
AND WE HATE DERBY!
WE HATE DERBY!
AND WE HATE DERBY!

etc…”

A work of sublime random genius, in my humble opinion, and given the time of year hopefully we will hear it dusted off at the City Ground or on our travels some time soon – of course, the other notable member of our canon of seasonal chanting is only appropriate for away trips, and relates to ‘Jingle bells’, and how much fun it is to see Forest win away – which is good fun too!

Strange chants: part seven

I’ve not heard this chant for a while, but generally it tends to come from the Upper Bridgford stand – I rarely hear it elsewhere in the ground on my travels. Last season in particular, there was a phase of hearing it at every game, no matter who the opponents were, no matter how many fans they bring, or how noisy they were.

The chant is designed to be disparaging, as such it should probably be reserved when that is appropriate. It is:

“Worst support we’ve ever seen!
Worst support we’ve ever seen…
Worst support we’ve..
Worst support we’ve..
Worst support we’ve ever seen!
Worst support we’ve ever seen!”

As you can see, quite straight forward and to the point – and in the right circumstance, it would be fine – but we used to joke last season that it was amusing how The Football League had arranged our home fixtures in order of the quality of their fanbase. Either that, or sections of the Forest fans have the memories of goldfishes, and genuinely believe the latest set of away fans infront of them to be the worst ever!

Either that, or it’s something that is dusted off when times are not so good, since it was a common feature of the City Ground under Megson’s reign, but something we hear less of now results have started to go some way to matching our hopes and expectations!

Strange chants: part six

It’s been a while since I’ve posted one of these, so it’s high time we had another one! This one’s quite commonly heard sung by Forest fans (well, not only Forest fans, but we don’t often hear it directed at us) all around the country on their travels, and in particular you might hear it at – how shall I put it – the, erm, less developed grounds we might visit – think Rotherham, Gillingham or Brighton. Basically, crap grounds.

“My garden shed! (My garden shed!)
Is bigger than this! (Is bigger than this!)
My garden shed is bigger than this!
It’s got a door, and a window!
My garden shed is bigger than this!”
(repeat to fade)

Or a slightly more outlandish deviation on the same theme:

“My kitchen sink! (My kitchen sink!)
Is bigger than this! (Is bigger than this!)
My kitchen sink is bigger than this!
It’s got a tap, and a plug-hole!
My kitchen sink is bigger than this!”
(repeat to fade)

It’s quite entertaining really – and the basic premise being that we’re making a witty remark based upon the size of the ground we’re playing in – it’s certainly better than “Shit ground, no fans!”, which is rather mundane. But there must be some bloody big sheds and sinks scattered around Nottingham, mustn’t there?

Mind you, I join in with this one, and have to confess a guilty secret – I don’t even have a garden shed, and my kitchen sink certainly isn’t that big!

Strange chants: part five

Some young ‘uns might feel that this chant is purely inspired by Soccer AM‘s now ‘legendary’ wrestler sketches. You’ll see them squabbling with one another in all manner of locations followed by a rendition of today’s strange chant.

You all know it. You wait until you’ve scored, or saved a penalty, or maybe when an opponent fluffs an easy chance, you stand up, you clap your hands above your head with straight arms, and you begin:

“Easeh! Easeh! Easeh!” (repeat ad infinitum)

This certainly isn’t restricted to Nottingham Forest fans, far from it, it’s a national phenomenon and it’s possibly the single most irritating thing to have infiltrated the terraces of England in living memory. It should stop. Consider this a campaign! I like Soccer AM, but in unleashing this travesty upon us they have a lot to answer for!

But consider this – the wrestlers on Sky’s morning football show are inspired by none other than these two shady characters. Now Big Daddy certainly entertained me as a younger person, and may he rest in peace, but do you really want to take your role model from a full grown, nay, an overgrown man in a leotard? He’s called Shirley too, you know! For shame. And the least said about his nemesis / comedy foil ‘Giant Haystacks’, also known as Martin Ruane, the better!