More outlandish rumours..

Rumours such as these would have seemed outlandish – but then, after the happenings of the last few weeks and days, my own definition of the term ‘outlandish’ is becoming a little more extreme than once it was.  Rather than start stories for every single rumour doing the rounds at the moment it makes more sense to try to bring them all together into a single update.

The thing that has really grabbed my attention is the rumour of an outgoing or two, given that we’ve enjoyed news of so many incoming transfers.  Paul Hart, former Reds manager, has been installed as Portsmouth manager and is supposedly trying to lure both James Perch and Wes Morgan to the South Coast.  Figures of £5m for the pair of them has been mentioned, which – frankly – is the kind of money we couldn’t possibly turn down!

Wes was probably fractionally behind Chris Cohen as our player of the season last year – a title not without auspiciousness even in a season of struggle.  His youth belies his experience as he’s been a regular starter since he was very young.  Perchy has been Mr Versatility, a defender by nature he has probably spent more time in midfield for the Reds, a divisive figure for many fans I’ve always valued his contribution to the cause.

Both I would be sorry to see leave for sentimental reasons, but in all good conscience I would struggle to turn down the kind of fees being talked about here.  Of course, that would be rather dependent on securing the services of appropriate replacements – particularly for Wes who – on current squad levels – would be a definite starter in one of the centreback berths for us.  Of course, it remains to be seen whether or not this ‘story’ is anything beyond a lazy link between Paul Hart and former players.

So that leads neatly into incomings.  LTLF appear confident that Radoslaw Majewski – a young Polish international midfielder – will be arriving at Trentside on a season long loan.  On the defensive front we appear to still be in the running for Mills from Doncaster, competing with West Brom for the services of the defender for a fee of around £2.2m.  Whispers over on Vital Forest suggest we might have the favour of his agent and have set a deadline of Friday for Doncaster to stop fannying around.

Also from there, despite bringing in Joel Lynch it would appear we are not only still interested in – but we are at advanced stages of – bringing Danny Fox in as well.  A new name in the frame is Zak Whitbread from Millwall, who is a centreback of a decent calibre – he is incoherently described as being ‘set to be a Red’.  Elliott Ward, also from Coventry, is supposedly not entirely out of the picture either.

If (and it’s a big if) all of these signings come to pass – before the last few weeks I would have laughed off the prospect as lunacy – then we will feasibly have an entirely new team.  Notwithstanding a fair few of our arrivals have spent time here on loan, of course.  It would seem, if rumours and news are combined, that Billy is certainly looking to inject a healthy dose of revolution into our evolution.  Bring it on!

Lynch to join Billy’s revolution..

He was hotly tipped to join following a mixed loan spell last season – carrying an injury he initially endured what I’d politely describe as a fucking torrid time at left back, however, upon recovery he started to show much more promise and certainly made me re-evaluate my initial dim view of his abilities.  £200k is the fee we’ve agreed with Brighton & Hove Albion, which I think is a fair price all told.

Much like with McKenna and Gunter, the Reds have agreed terms with us, and is now awaiting a medical and presumable the paperwork with the football league to go through.  Whether this heralds the end of our interest in Coventry’s Danny Fox or not, I’m not sure, but certainly I think Joel makes a welcome edition to the squad.

Going the other way on loan for six months is Matt Thornhill – which I mentioned in a comment earlier in the week as though it had already happened, so clearly that’s something that must have been discussed before or perhaps I’m becoming slowly psychic!  A good move for the youngster, I think, given our options in midfield his options would have been limited at forest and he needs first team football now.

The other news of note, aside from Notts County’s courting of Sven, is that new sponsors Victor Chandler are offering quite a pledge – admittedly, something quite unlikely needs to happen to make it come true.  Basically, season ticket holders who register with the company and place a bet of £5 or more before August 20th will be entitled to a free season ticket for 2010/2011.

The only minor snag with this seemingly wonderously generous scheme is that in order for it to be triggered, Forest have to win the Championship!  Now even given recent transfer activities and feelings of optimism they engender, even I’m stretched to think that might happen – but still, £5 on the Reds to win the league at 30/1 could pay double dividends!

Are Notts County getting an April Fool in really early?

High profile: Notts County want to elevate their laughing stock credentials with a shock appointment

High profile: Notts County want to elevate their laughing stock credentials with a shock appointment

Saturday’s friendly opponents Notts County are at the centre of a rather brief yet corking rumour courtesy of The Sun.  As we know, our formerly smaller neighbours have undergone a takeover by a mysterious Middle East consortium called Munto Finance – and many of our Magpie-flavoured brethren are preparing for life as one of the richest clubs in the world.

The first hint of the magnitude of their plans was when Notts County chairman Peter Trembling was recorded making frantic calls to the recruitment agencies of Nottingham, seeking nubile young female interns who would be prepared to wear short skirts and show a bit of cleavage.  The roles he was offering were non-specific aside from insisting that a team of these candidates were required at short notice.

It transpires they were to act as a lure for perhaps the most audacious move ever to be made by a lower league football club.  You see, the powers that be at Notts County are not content with the forlorn figure of Ian McParland to mould the likes of Craig Westcarr, Delroy Facey and John Thompson into a promotion challenging force, whilst simultaneously handling big money transfers with the likes of Chesterfield FC for high profile strikers like Jack Lester.

No, poor old Charlie will just not do!

Now buoyed by their new funding – which has already secured the services of three new interns formerly of Bubbles Massage Spa – the Magpies have baited what they feel is an irresistable trap to lure former England manager Sven Goran Eriksson to the Meadow Lane revolution.  The Swede was unavailable for comment following the story reaching the national media, a spokesman for the top coach suggested that Eriksson is probably seeking a higher profile club to return to the game.

As well as being on the lookout for a top manager, rumour has it that the level of investment being provided to the first football league club is such that apparently they will be imminently be unveiling a new wheelbarrow – and this time the wheel will stay on.  It looks set to be an exciting time over the next few weeks for the three old men and the dog on a piece of string who go to watch Notts County!

* Whilst this story is mostly mindless and childish piss taking – the central theme of a supposed approach for Sven Goran Eriksson was actually in The Sun!  Here’s the proof!