They call him Earnie, and is he a Forest striker, or just jest?

Boredom rules supreme, and since the most repetitive rumour is that we’re after wantaway striker Robert Earnshaw from Derby, and indeed, they have apparently accepted an offer for him, I got to thinking about his nickname ‘Earnie’.. this led me to thinking about Benny Hill’s song about a Milkman called Ernie, and one thing kind of led to another, and I apologise in advance for my appalling rhyming skills, but it kept me entertained for a while!

Earnie – A Forest striker, or just jest?

You could hear their heartbeats pound as strikers race across the ground,
And the ripple of the net as they’re sent tumbling down and down,
As he fed from scraps, or sat on the bench, a Ram upon his chest,
His name was Earnie, and he played for team that wasn’t blessed.

Now Earnie loved to score goals, it used to be a common treat,
But now he’s on the bench sat next to a Scouse love cheat,
They said that he was useless, scoring only twice in seven starts,
He knew in a team of wasters that he’d never top the scoring charts.

They called him Earnie, (Earnieeeeeeee)
And he was stuck rotting in Derby, and he was stressed,

He said he needed good service, Jewell said “All right, my lad,”
But fifteen hoofed balls in every game would hardly make him glad,
He said, “On the deck is where I need it, ’cause on the deck is best,”
But Paul Jewell was too busy staring at his missus’ chest.

That upset old Earnie, (Earnieeeeeee)
And he was stuck rotting in Derby, and he was stressed,

Earnie’s team soon had no rival, they were confirmed the worst,
Down before April and the lowest points, it seemed that they were cursed,
He waiting for his chance again, wishing the nightmare to end,
But hapless players and a hapless coach just drop him round the bend.

He nearly swooned when the press confirmed a way out from this hell,
Derby were after a Forest lad, but he could go t’other way as well,
He knew once an offer came his way he could be on his way,
And soon enough he’d be back to scoring come what may.

Poor old Earnie, (Earnieeeeee)
And he was stuck rotting in Derby, and he was stressed,

An offer’s been accepted, to take him from that place,
But nobody’s confirmed the club, at least not to his face,
He’s really not that bothered now – he just wants to leave Pride Park,
Embarrassed by association, he had been heard to remark.

He pondered who it could be, perhaps if Forest it would be best,
Just to stick it up the gaffer, who shags his mistress in his vest,
It doesn’t matter who it is, any way out of here will do,
But it would be sweet to score the goal that makes Derby Nil and Forest 2.

Good old Earnie, (Earnieeeee)
An escape from Derby planned, and he felt blessed.

Of course, now I’ve written that drivel I bet he ends up going back to Cardiff!

21 Responses

  1. u have a lot of time on your hands, dont u?

  2. Undoubtedly, I had written off this weekend for contemplation of the play offs! I did get some gardening done, though so all is not lost!

  3. Well done…All these hidden talents.He certainly can score goals with the right service.By the way what is happening with Hoskins? regards Alan

  4. The NEP reports that Forest won’t be interested in Will again given his injury record. So sad for a local lad.
    Good work nffc, although I don’t remember the song but vaguely I had a good laugh.

  5. I must admit its a good rendition of an old song!

    If the day job doesnt pan out NFFC, I hear the Barron Knights are making a comeback (again) and are looking for a new songwriter!


  6. Mmmm – needs work. Not bad though, let’s see if I can help …..

    from Earnies team … add as btween “rival” & “they” & change “the” to “twith”

    Also, change the 5th paragraph where it says about Derby & place “And rather than a Ram on his vest he’d prefer to have a Tree on t’chest and do well”

    Final Forest the best & not 2… in the last line.

    I think that’ll help. 😦

  7. oop, wrong face – that should be 🙂 (I hope!! :lol:)

  8. not getting it right with these faces am I!! 😆 🙂 If this aint right I gve up 4 now!! 😛 (face with a tongue I hope!!)

  9. New just up on the NFFC official site: June 16 Programme is released for the new season starting Sat Aug 9.

  10. Odds on him scoring the winning goal for the reds in next seasons Brian Clough trophy match??

  11. not sure i can see the trent end rising as one to sing that number but since when does the trent end sing!

    we really need a song about derby being the laughing stock of the english football league, as much as i love the “derby go down again again” its a bit old and such a momentus season does deserve its own chant, suggestions anyone?

  12. There’s something that doesn’t sit right about us signing a D*rby reject.

    I’d quite like us to continue the policy of bringing the promising youngsters through and signing Nottingham born players. Rumour has it that Leon Best is in Marbella with half the forest team – if only Cov would agree to let him ‘come home’ to Forest!

    We also need a right back and Simon Francis (Southend) born in West Bridgford would fit that bill.

  13. I’ve heard the rumour but suspect Earnie will feel blessed by an escape to Norwich or Cardiff. Any more news on Kris Commons going in the other direction up the Brian Clough Way?

  14. BTW – Good idea Dave. How about changing the words to our ‘Whole world in our hands’ to ‘You’ve got the worst team, in the land’…

  15. Keith, chill – Commons ain’t going to use that road to the deflated Rams, who want’s to join the worst team in Premiership history!! and joint worst team ever in a football league – there’s 1 other team I heared who only won once in a season.

    Nice idea Ayls 🙂

  16. Looks like its in Earnie’s hands now….,,10270~1311651,00.html

  17. Nah, It looks like he’s playing yo-yo between us & Sheff Wed whilst suposedly on holiday 2!!! Dizzy yet!! 😆

  18. He is apparently off on holiday for the nxt week or so at Disneyland…
    You would have thought he would have had enough of a Micky Mouse outfit at D*rby 🙂

  19. I’m not at all convinced about Earnshaw. £2.5 million? Thats a lot of dough for a journeyman striker. And the fact he’s buggered off on holiday before signing smacks of arrogance. And where exactly will he play in Colins 4-5-1 system? I rate Tys way ahead, especially the way he finished what has been a difficult season for him.
    It’s good that ND is prepared to lay out that kind of money, but I think we should concentrate on making sure Clingan, Tyson and Commons all re-sign first.
    Then maybe go for Beckford, or even Mclean (P’boro).
    Still, what do I know…I have been calling for CCs head most of the season!

  20. Leon Best is indeed going on holidays with quite a few of the Forest team, they are going to Aya Napia. The policy of signing Nottingham born palyers has really impressed me and Best and Francis would be good signings in my opinion. =D

  21. […] the song wasn’t premature afterall, and I’m thrilled we’ve signed him – regardless of whispers of him liking a drink or […]

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