Collymore: “I never had a pineapple on my head!”

I certainly made the right choice this evening, instead of going to the City Ground to watch Forest slump to a by-all-accounts embarrassing 3-2 defeat to Peterborough United in the Johnstone’s Paint Trophy, I headed into Nottingham to The Approach to enjoy an evening in the company of a certain Stanley Victor Collymore.  And I have to say it was a top top night.

Before I recount it, as a fan of a certain age I can categorically say that Stan is the most complete and entertaining footballer I have ever had the honour to cheer on in a Forest shirt.  To me, too young to witness the true heights Forest have once scaled, he epitomised a monumental immediate-post-Clough era which cemented my love of football into my psyche.  He ranks almost as high as Stuart Pearce in my league of ‘best players’, despite only having two seasons with us and leaving under a cloud.

I realise immediately some readers are bristling over the “add comment” option, phrases like “greedy bastard” and “traitor” possibly not far from your keyboards, but given the pre-Bosman circumstances at the time, I think we have to remember that in those days before uber-player-power, it took two to tango in transfer dealings, and frankly, if Forest had wanted to keep hold of him, we could have – we elected instead to cash in and buy Andrea Silenzi.

So anyway, having arrived at the venue Stan was already there holding court at the bar, and having grabbed a few words I have to say that he’s a charming and genuine seeming guy.  Given his tumultuous relationship with the press off the field I imagine he’s had a few lessons in humility, but he was warm and funny both on and off the stage – a genuinely intelligent and witty chap, who makes an excellent subject for the ‘An Evening With..’ format.

I won’t go into massive details about “what was said” – he recounted happily his times with the Reds, pointing out it was his most productive time as a player – and consequently, with hindsight, perhaps his happiest.  He joked about his ‘Spice Boys’ skullduggery whilst he was with Liverpool, and was even happy to talk us through his introduction to the world of dogging – to very amusing ends!  The first part of the evening following a pre-planned session with the talented-yet-strangely-punchable Darren Fletcher formerly of Century 106.

There were a couple of amusing revelations, my favourite being that it was our very own Neil Lennon who suggested to him that setting off a fire extinguisher in La Manga having just joined Leicester City under Martin O’Neill was a good idea.  Not really surprising I suppose, but quite amusing!  He also made reference to the recent shenanigans over at LTLF when a petition was started to get him to come back, he evidently met the chap who started it because he pointed him out from the stage, and spoke of posting over there with some of the Forest fans online at the time.

After a half-time auction of a signed team picture and a shirt, and a queue of people paying a tenner to have a photo taken with Stan, which he’d later sign, the session was opened to questions that could be jotted down on bits of paper on the tables in the venue.  My favourites were Stan’s revelations about who had the biggest “third leg” in his experience, the fact he ranks his second goal against Peterborough (how topical!) that got us promoted as ‘probably his best’, and not least that some poor fool in the audience appeared to think he and Jason Lee were the same person (hence the headline!).

All in all, a thoroughly enjoyable evening.  I do actually have access to a dictaphone recording somebody made, so I may dip into it and recall more details – his revelations about his cohorts on ‘The Farm’ were amusing.  “Well, he’s a big American dick” was his summary on Vanilla Ice, and of Rebecca Loos he simply said “she’s an old dog!”  Perhaps the revelation of the evening was that he was recalled to record his scene in Basic Instict 2 at Sharon Stone’s request, because she wanted to do it again with no underwear on!  Apparently his left little finger has “seen the light!”. 

I can’t think what he means!  A thoroughly entertaining night, and well worth forgoing an apparently abysmal cup performance – and if you feel you missed out, apparently he will be making another appearance at The Approach in January 2008.  So look out for that, I’d thoroughly recommend it for an entertaining evening – I’ll keep an eye out and post details nearer the time when I find out about it.

13 Responses

  1. So I’m guessing he didn’t say he’s up for a few games for us this season????

  2. Alas no, I did try to suggest he might reconsider – but he seems content to be a pundit rather than a player now, sadly.

    He does have an 11 year old lad who he joked he’d send to Forest’s academy though – again, he did specify unfortunately he wouldn’t let him join the first team this season!

  3. Probably being of a similar age, I can only concur that he was by some distance the best player I ever saw in the Garibaldi. In fact, and this is a bold statement, during the season we came third, I can’t imagine there was a footballer in the world who was so consistently playing great football. However he left in vile circumstances, and having recently read his autobiography I can conclude that only Gazza can rival him in the self-pitying department. It seems strange to me that other fans don’t feel the same level of enmity towards him that I do. Nonetheless having read your piece, were I to see him on the street I’d just walk on by, as opposed to verbally attacking him as I would have done in my teens. Calderwood out.

  4. Agree with you there Al; top player, one of the most exciting ever to wear the red shirt. As with a lot of forest players down the years he was worth the entrance fee alone. But I also remember him shoving Bryan Roy away after he’d scored, and the things he said when he left. Nffc, can you not remember the story of how he cried at the training ground when Man U signed Andy Cole instead of him? Thats because he wanted to stay?!
    Having said that I’ve similar feeling towards Roy Keane (badge-kissing, anyone?), but oh how Forest missed the boat on that appointment last year!

  5. I’m not saying he wanted to stay, just that we could’ve kept him. Who knows what he was really thinking or feeling, certainly I’d question believing the Evening Post or the Tabloids without question.

    One thing he mentioned was he did have concerns that Forest didn’t have the clout to invest to make that Frank Clark team better – he played it down as a ‘mere concern’ but I’m sure it was a bigger factor. Ultimately he was right though, we didn’t compete in the transfer market, and I guess if you can divorce your emotions from football, from a purely career point of view, his move made sense (although I do think Fergie would have got the best out of him, whereas Roy Evans failed).

  6. When his head was right he was one hell of a player and definitely the most exciting player I have seen in a Forest shirt. Excellent with both feet and head. When Stan was on form, my old Dad used to say that the only other Forest player to outshine him was Sir Trevor Francis.

  7. My first match was Sheffield Wed away, the 7-1. Stan was superb that day. He will always be a Forest legend and hero of mine. Thank you Stan for some great memorys


  8. fucking hell. that 7-1. they are times long gone by eh? and i woulda took him over Trev. doies anyone remember the game he came back with the scouse. thecity ground was a cauldron of hate. “no one likes you, no one likes you, collymore” etc. and he pushed stoney. and then got subbed. thing is with him. he never knew(or knows) when he’s got it good. a kinda english anelka. in fact having read the self pitying drivel that is his autobography, he is, if anything, worse. the scorn he pours all over John Gregory for not patting his hand and stroking his hair when he claimed his depression is quite unbelievable. he openly admits that he couldn’t be bothered to train properly as he is so naturally gifted. nothing was ever his fault. you should see the 30 pages or so he devotes to justifying the Ulrikka incident. still though, that goal against wimbledon. i’m gonna give keano a pass because we had just got relegated, his mentor had retired, and there was no unpleasantness before or after (badge smooching aside) the transfer. and nffc, for the record and parity, you are right. if i divorce myself from my forest roots, i can understand why you’d leave to go to the scouse. but there’s a way of doing things. and that wasn’t the way. as for appointing keano. i was led to believe it was a done deal. i had £50 on it. wife from the area. big team. but of course that would involve Doughty doing something right. and we all know that doesn’t happen very often. and before anyone has a go, we are at our lowest ebb in our history. this is not due to people investing and appointing well. there must be changes. doughty is like brian barwick in that he can’t see problems that are obvious to everyone else and calderwood is just the wrong man for the job. he has spent more than the rest of that league together and was still unable to procure a striker or motivate players. crikey, i’d take warnock now. i really would. i’m not a bad fan. i don’t like the government. it doesn’t mean i’m not proud to be english. and so on. anyway. a lot of negativity there. sorry. anyway, they’re still by far the greatest team, i’ve ever seen.

  9. To all of you Keano lovers, Sunderland ain’t exactly setting the world on fire in the Prem. And £5m for Chopra………….

  10. No, but he sure got them out of the Championship from being 4th from bottom!!

  11. and 5m on k. richardson. but he certainly did get them up. and i reckon they will stay up. although do you see he’s spent as much on transfers this summers as wenger has on his arsenal squad. wild.

  12. mattyboy…very true…but then a certain Mr Megson somehow got a team promoted!!!

  13. […] Posted on 3 March, 2010 by nffc I can’t believe it was in 2007 when I got a chance to meet Stan Collymore!  But anyway, I digress before I’ve even started… you could have that chance too, as […]

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