If Smoulderwood had a time machine…

The manager is preparing to face the media after a disappointing defeat to Brighton and Hove Albion.  His side dominated the first half without ever finishing their chances, he had a striker sent off, took the lead before throwing the game away in a matter of 9o seconds.  He takes a deep breath and faces the microphone.

Smoulds: “I’m disappointed, but it was a positive performance – I’m still confident in my group and whilst we must work on the individual errors that lead to us conceding two goals so easily, I still feel that we will be promoted.”

Forest fans: “What a load of rubbish! Why does he substitute players when he does?  Why does he play that formation?  Why won’t he tell it like it is!”

Smoulderwood registers the fans feedback, and activates his time machine in order to face the media again with a clean slate…

Smoulds: “I’m appalled and ashamed of the team – they let me and the fans down, Nathan Tyson, what a complete idiot, as for John Curtis and Paul Smith – what were they thinking?  We’re rubbish and we’ll be lucky to get in the play offs at this rate!”

Forest fans: “What a shocking lack of professionalism and ambition!  Does he not realise we are the mighty Nottingham Forest and teams like Brighton should roll over and die for us – Calderwood out!”

Slightly perplexed, Smoulds once again triggers his time travelling device to return to the point when he initially faced the media.

Smoulds: “We should be beating teams like Brighton, I’m disappointed the lads couldn’t convert their chances today – because we were the better team, we were let down by a couple of uncharacteristic errors and some questionable refereeing – but we are the biggest team in this league and we will demolish Blackpool and Chesterfield to make up for this!”

Forest fans: “What planet is he on?  We’re rubbish!  We couldn’t beat our way out of a wet paper bag!  I don’t care if we were top of the league for ages, our players are all useless and the manager is clueless and the chairman lacks ambition – and don’t even get me started on Mark Arthur!  It’s all doom and gloom, frankly I’d be amazed if we can even avoid relegation this season!”

It’s no wonder Smoulderwood pulls faces like this:

smoulders.jpg

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