Amusing chants for the Chelsea game..

There’s a fairly defiant and amusing thread on the LTLF forum about this subject, but for the more cynical amongst you I’ve thought of a few chants that can be put to good use for our forthcoming visit to Stamford Bridge when we face Chelsea in the FA Cup fourth round.  Given the allocation of around 6,000 tickets there’ll be plenty of us to make some racket, so we’ll need a decent selection of singing material, so I’ve come up with some slightly more cynical  ideas…

After 10 minutes:

“We’re gonna win 2-1!”

After 20 minutes:

“We’re gonna win 3-2!”

After 30 minutes:

“We’re gonna win 4-3″

After 40 minutes:

“We’re gonna win 5-4!”

Aaaaaaaand so on :lol:  In all seriousness though, Chelsea face their second would-be giantkillers tonight in the form of Wycombe Wanderers – having demolished Macclesfield in round three of the FA Cup (it was never really in doubt once they went down to ten men, and nine men at the end!).  How they line up and how Wycombe approach the game could be an invaluable insight into what we can expect from the league champions.

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68 Responses

  1. Where were you when your were shit!!!

  2. At Stamford Bridge of course! Where were you when you were good?!!!!!!!

  3. Valiant chants in the face of a hammering… who says the Cup’s lost its magic?

  4. We were at the City Ground as we are now, in numbers.

    Remeber Chelsea’s average gate in the early 90’s of about 13,000?????????

    You a bunch of glory hunting plastic cockneys

  5. “Where’s your centre-backs…?”

    Less funny now Terry is fit of course, but I do find it amusing that a club the size of Chelsea are so poorly covered in one position, resulting in numerous players having to play out of position to fill the gap.

    or perhaps…

    “beat you on the Playstation…we always beat you on the Playstation”
    Credit:- Julian Bennett…

  6. Not being rude mate but you are not the brightest. Chelsea have never had an average gate of 13,000 during the 90’s, indeed I doubt it was much under 30,000 for any of those years (where we were winning the FA Cup, Cup Winners Cup etc). As Forest have not had any glory days for quarter of a century or more you can be forgiven a little amnesia.

  7. ….could be ‘we want 8…!’

  8. CHECH YOUR FACTS!!

    Late 80’s early 90’s you had shit attendendance!! You never won anything in that time.

    In fact you had shit gates right through your history!!!!

  9. Does anyone actually have the facts? Not that it has much to do with amusing chants :D

    I think posturing about former glories is rather a mute point unless done tongue in cheek really given our current status!

  10. I did have a quick Google around the net to see if I could find Chelsea’s average attendances, but could only find a website which quoted them from 2003 onwards…can’t think why…

  11. Are you actually coming down to see your beloved Forest play Chelsea?
    If so be sure to pop into the So Bar outside the ground to say hi.

    Would be lovely to see you, make sure you wear your colours so we dont mistake you for someone else.

    They all creep out from behind rocks when the cup comes around and they support their team for a week until they get humiliated out of the cup and thn go back to being Man U fans.

    I f**kin hate Northerners full of s**t scum.

  12. I shall be certainly attending, as I attend league games regardless of the glamour.

    I think I’ll decline your kind invitation, though, if it’s all the same to you.

    I’m not best fond of Northerners either.

  13. My, what a charming Blue…

  14. It’s surprising that Chelsea have become so unpopular with such charming, friendly supporters?!

  15. http://www.football-league.premiumtv.co.uk/page/RecordAttendances/0,,10794,00.html

    4 of the 10 highest attendances in the history of the top division were at Chelsea.

    http://www.nufc.com/2006-07html/attendance-all-time.html

    In all-time attendances, Chelsea have the 5th highest of any club in the league that’s ever existed.

    Your apology is unneccessary, because you speak out of abject ignorance, but it is required.

  16. It’s alright, he’s probably never met a real ‘northerner’.

  17. At John Terry – “YOU USED TO PLAY FOR A BIG CLUB, PLAY FOR A BIG CLUB, YOU USED TO PLAY FOR A BIG CLUB…”

    At Chelsea fans – “YOU CAN STICK YOUR CIABBATA UP YOUR ARSE, YOU CAN STICK YOUR CIABATTA UP YOUR ARSE, YOU CAN STICK YOUR CIABATTA, STICK YOUR CIABATTA, STICK YOUR CIABATTA UP YOUR ARSE”

    or of course, as mentioned above, “WHERE WERE YOU WHEN YOU WERE SHIT…”

    I live and work in London, and from what I see mosT of yuor attendance Is made up of people on Corporate tickets – hence the “electric” atmosphere at “the Bridge”. You are champions and you don’t even fill up you allocation of seats when you go away. You are a nothing club who are throwing millions at something you will never achieve, A EUROPEN CUP!!! Once your Russian billionaire fucks off you will be back to being the 4th club in London and then all the Corporate seats will be sitting empty! The skinny late sales will drop through the floor!!!

    “WE WENT TO EUROPE, WE WON THE CUP TWICE, WE WENT TO EUROPE, WE WON THE CUP TWICE”

  18. I can see why Chelsea changed their nickname to ‘The Blues’ as that’s the colour that most of their fans just turned the air.

    If anyone would like some amusement, Chelsea’s original nick-name was ‘The Pensioners’ (seriously, you couldn’t make it up…)

  19. Shit. We’re on TV
    Shit. Games on Sunday
    We’re doomed!

  20. Oh well, I really thought we could do it until I found that out! Arf!

  21. Blimey, the BBC are going to show Forest. I thought they only appeared on The History Channel.

  22. You obviously don’t watch the BBC much – twice on there already this season :)

  23. as a former ‘southerner’ from Bedford many of my mates were Chelsea fans – and they did used to turn up when the crowds were around 13k in the old second divsion. However, when it comes to football they are a real bunch of kunt$!

    The day Forest went down from the Championship I was sitting round my Chelsea scum supporting mates house watching them win the Premier. Not a happy day.

    I really do hope we manage to get something out of it – I won’t stop smiling for months!!

  24. What about..

    What time is it?

    Five past forest!

  25. Exactly mate. Their support is rubbish

    If chelsea were in league one they would not get 10,000!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    They are no where near as big a club as we are

  26. Yes but we are not…. you are….just like the scousers living in the past!!….

  27. Come now, I can take all manner of banter, but to liken us to Scousers is below the belt! ;)

  28. I note from the stats that Chelsea have acquired over half of their total silverware in the last ten years, who can blame their fans for only turning up since then? ;)

  29. lots of confident chants they are aren’t they, i seriously think we can hold for a replay, taking them back to the cg would be something and make another 500k, y not lol

  30. with all due respect to you Forest fans I have the utmost respect for your achievements in the golden 70’s and 80’s under the legend Brian Clough.
    BUT please do not start jumping on the bollics bandwagon that every dumb twat jumps on about history and no support! yes are followings were a lot lower in the 80’s but then again lots of other so called “big clubs” had shite attendances. English football was at an all time low.
    The facts are there we have over our history have the 5th highest average attendances so stop harping on about being a small club with no real fans.
    I started going to Chelsea games in the early 80’s , I went to a handfull of games where there were only 6000 – 7000 at home but I also followed Chelsea away when we had 4-5 thousand at away games in london.
    Yes our golden era has been the 90’s and the 2000’s yours was the late 70’s and 80’s . Two European cups is FCUK’in impressive and I watched them games glued to the TV chearing on Notts forest. Good old Treveor Francis!
    So shut up about CFC and I am looking forward to a good game and hopefully the rebirth of a once great club. Give me forest over Bolton any day

  31. Cheers Chelseagate.

    Bear in mind that it’s the minority with the posturing and the pisstaking – the majority of us, frankly, are looking forward to a big game for us – we’re going to get to go to a proper ground, for a change, and see our team – lowly as it has become – pit themselves against players we’ve heard of. That’s the attitude the majority of Forest fans I know (and I know a lot of the buggers!) have.

    Football’s a different game now to what it was when we had our moments – money talks now, and you boys have it – frankly, I’d rather see Chelsea succeed than the Red Scum from Liverpool or Manchester.

  32. very funny, but i can’t see us conceeding goals faster than liverpool did last night hahaha

  33. Hey, got two suggestions. First, let’s play around a little with one of our own chants:
    “Oh Stamford Bridge, oh Stamford Bridge, oh Stamford Bridge is full of s**t, it’s full of cocky prima donnas, oh Stamford Bridge is full of s**t”.
    Then, on Rod Stewart’s “I am sailing”:
    “You are chasing, you are chasing, Europe glory cross the sea, you are begging for our silver, which you’re never gonna see”.
    (Just some inspiration from beyond the Channel.)

  34. “Brian Clough football genius, jose mourhino F*cking Idiot”

  35. Sorry guys but if you look on the Newcastle United website you will see a league that has been drawn up using the last 100 years average attendances. Chelsea are 5th. Not shite support

  36. It’s a tad dull now; isn’t it? I never claimed any such thing, although some commenters did – it’s a common retort for a team enjoying a period of success – we had “plastic Scousers”, Manchester United fans of course come from anywhere but Manchester – I imagine Forest had a big chunk of glory-hunters during the good times too.

    Never understood the fixation with attendances or “who is bigger” or “whose support is best” meself – I just love my club, I don’t like some other clubs as a result due to biasedness, but do I give a shit whose average attendance is bigger? Whose trophy cabinet has most in it? Not really. I’m fiercely proud of our history and heritage, but won’t use it as a stick to attempt to hit another club with, unless it’s tongue-in-cheek.

  37. Chelsea has a bigger penis than Nottm Forest. Nuff said.

  38. I didn’t want to resort to calling Jose a “penis”, but since you’ve already said it…. ;)

  39. Basically Calderwood has a tiny penis.

  40. microscopic in fact

  41. I can only take your word for it :) How about the Wycombe manager?

  42. Paul Lambert has even smaller balls than hilario, those are some pretty damn tiny balls.
    On the other hand, each of Drogbas testicles weighs over 5lbs and he could strangle you to death with his wang. He also sold his soul to satan, so DONT MESS WITH THE DROG.

  43. :lol:

    I can tell you’ve devoted some time to the subject, so I think I’ll take your word for it rather than seek to find out for myself! :D

  44. THATS IT. IM SENDING THE NAZI SKINHEADS ROUND TO NOTTM FOREST BEAT YOU UP NOW. DONT YOU DARE CALL ME GAY!

  45. Jolly good, first right after the Major Oak…

  46. Sorry – but what is a “skinny late sale” or is that a Northern expression?

  47. I’ve no idea, being a Midlander, it’s possible that it’s a Northern thing :)

  48. Loved the ciabatta chant pmsl. Quandry tho, as a Scottish Chelsea fan, doesn’t that make me a Northerner? For every Charlie Cooke, Pat Nevin, that makes the journey southwards, Scotland also bequeaths the likes of Robert Fleck. Kenny Burns was class at Forrest tho wasn’t he? Looking fwd to the game, mibbees by that time the Chels will have two fully fit central defenders. Colin Calderwood used to bounce his heid off the dressing room wall to psyche himself up before playing for Scotland. (Well you would wouldn’t you?)

  49. gonna rape you

  50. skinny latte – as in the coffee all your corporate fans sip on to keep themselves warm during he match.

  51. All time average attendances

    Chelsea 31,113
    N Forest 17,610

    I can’t beleive you ARE a bigger club than us.

  52. *yawn*

    Nice of you to name yourself after us though :)

  53. I have a new and strange chant that I am surprised I haven’t heard ringing around the ground. Perhaps we can sing it at Stamford Bridge:

    “When the ball hits the goal it’s not Shearer or Cole OR Scott Dobie…..

    …when the ball hits the goal it’s not Shearer or Cole OR Scott Dobie!”

    It’s not my intention to sound mean but the Albion used to sing only they said “it’s Scott Dobie”, which it’s patently obvious will never happen…..!

  54. Arf!

    I always preferred:

    “When the ball missed the goal from no distance at all, that’s Zamora!”
    :lol:

    Got bugger all to do with Forest OR Chelsea but still makes me smirk!

  55. why dont we sing old school songs anymore like “forest fans we are ere,shag your women drink your beer”. or we could sing a new one like “STUART PEARCE IS A PROPA COCKNEY”shit i know but hey i’m trying

  56. You all keep going on about Chelsea attendances in the past, who gives a shit bout back then, only forest fans because them days were the only good days, now look at Chelsea attendance, past dont mean shit! one more thing……Chelsea Champions Chelsea Champions!

  57. Not this season eh?

    This is a serious question do you think you could pull in gates of 20,000 is what is basically div 3?

    BTW when 3,500 ticket went on sale to the majority of season ticket holders they where gone withing 2 and a half hours.

  58. i think chelsea 4 life is abit jealous about nffc, first we done the euro cup twice an pretty much every other cup, man u will take your title this year so shhhhhhhhhh!!! a good chant about chelsea, YOUR ONLY WINNING COS YOUR RICH COS UR RICH COS UR RICH, WHEN ABROM LEAVES YOULL BE SHIT AN YOU KNOW THAT.
    come on you reds…. good luck nffc.

  59. HAHA 3-0

  60. Yes well done

    Its a shame that you are by far the worst supporters i have ever seen

  61. Jealous, why wood i be jealous of sumone who is in league one or sumfing. YOUR NOT FAMOUS ANYMORE…….YOUR NOT FAMOUS ANYMORE. 3-0 so shhhhhhhhh forest fan we are supreme, bollocks supreme lol haha. u wer shit. U wait we wil be champions!!

  62. Yh dazzler, yh, i fink we wil sell more den dat, dnt matter wat division, chelsea fans are amazing

  63. I remember 13k fans for a Premiership game only 11-12 years ago at the Bridge.

    Perhaps that section are the ones who have been priced out of Roman’s empire – they were probably the ones who actually used to sing :lol:

    Go back to your prawn sandwiches… and pick up a dictionary.

  64. hahaha dnt make me laf, jst coz u aint go the money to by dat much. WERE FUCKIN LOADED LALALALAALA WERE FUCKIN LOADED LALALALAALA

  65. Conclusive proof, if any were needed, that money can’t buy you class :lol:

  66. To all you scousers, you now have new owners, it will be the first time any business in Liverpool, hasn’t sold smack or stolen goods….

    In your Liverpool slums
    You search through the dustbin for something to eat
    You find a dead rat and you think its a treat
    In your Liverpool slums, in your Liverpool slums
    Your mums on the game and your dads in the nick
    You can’t get a job cos your so fucking thick
    In your Liverpool slums, in your Liverpool slums
    There’s piss on the pavement and shit on the path
    you finger your grandma and think it’s a laugh
    In your Liverpool slums, in your Liverpool slums

  67. chelsea fans are just a bunch of fuck ups to fuck ups who knows that they are fuck ups but hopes real fans dont know they are fuck ups

  68. looks like your special one has gone, anyway great attandance against Rosenborg lads!

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