Before now I had quite serious reservations about the moral implication of cloning human beings, after all, it’s playing God – it’s unnatural, all those things – it’s not a comfortable subject with me. However, the impact a certain Mr Daniel Cullip has on the Nottingham Forest defence has convinced me of the virtues of bending this rule a little, in fact, I’m prepared to completely disregard it and just go for it.
Now you may think I’m being greedy, but it’s not that I want to fill our team with Danny Cullips – that would be silly, the chances are they’d all want to dominate and start fighting with each other whilst we were overran by our opponents. No, such greed I will not fall foul of – the reason I would like to clone Danny Cullip is simply so that we can always field one of him in defence – because the poor chap seems so injury prone that I live in almost constant fear of when he will next be unavailable for selection.
You see, he’s played in 10 games so far this season – and we’ve won 9 of them, a drawn the other – that’s a pretty damned impressive record in anyone’s money. And it’s not just his own play that is the reason for this – he seems to emanate an air of competence, confidence and efficiency that spreads to the rest of our defence to make them a cohesive unit, stingy with goals and unforgiving to opponents. Wes Morgan in particular looks a different player when he’s alongside Cullip.
That is why the secret laboratory underneath the mainstand should even now be perfecting this technology to guard against another injury to the talismanic centreback, to make sure we never have to be without him again – the extra Danny Cullips would probably make good stewards whilst they await their next chance of playing, I imagine they’d have more success at getting the away fans to sit down than the current crop of knuckle-draggers!
Filed under: Thoughts
