Through the seasons before us..

Quite a short gap between this and my first interview, and this with the same Derby fan I spoke to for the first interview. I think I shall leave a longer gap or try to find a different sheep for next time, but nonetheless figured it might make interesting or amusing reading.

Interesting week this week, at least you managed to hold Doncaster to penalties - I suppose there’s no shame in that!

That’d almost be funny if it wasn’t coming from a team who lost to bloody Accrington Stanley in the previous round! It is gutting though, we came back from 3-0 down to level it, got a stupid sending off too… but I doubt people will be quoting milk adverts at me all season…

That’s true! I’ve been quite enjoying it - we’re concentrating on the league this year, and the Johnstones Paint Trophy of course!

The what trophy? Did that used to be the LDV Vans? That is pretty funny, although I suppose a cup final would be a good day out even if it was for a gold plated paintpot or something. We’ve still got the FA Cup to look forward to anyway, well, maybe a cup run of two games or so…

This week saw the anniversary of Brian Clough passing away - with statue funds nearly completion in Nottingham and Middlesbrough to commemorate his finest achievements as a player and manager, are plans afoot for something similar in Derby?

Not that I know about, I think there should be, it’s great that the A52 between us and you has been renamed to ‘Brian Clough Way’ - it’s greatly symbolic because whilst there’s so much animosity between the two cities, the adulation of Cloughie is a common thread that draws us together - whilst it was a bit odd, the service at Pride Park with F*rest and Derby fans sitting together was great to see. I can’t imagine another circumstance where I’d want to see Red Dogs sitting in our home areas.

It was a really moving night, it made it seem all the more poignant because we were straining to hear over the rain thundering against the roof of the ground!

The weather was dreadful, wasn’t it! I read the poem you posted on the 20th, the one Barbara Clough read out, I’d love to meet the bloke who wrote it and buy him a pint. Oh yes! On reading that I spotted the image you accompanied the last interview with, cheeky bastard!

Well you lot do sing “Sheep shag army!” - I thought it was something you’d embraced and were proud of! You don’t catch us singing “Tree Hug Army” do you, I’ve always thought Tree Hugging is quite a savoury, if strange, pasttime compared to shagging a sheep anyway.

It is a bit of a crap insult really, thinking about it - but well, it’s not easy to come up with a childish sexual connotation for a team whose logo is a tree, is it? Unless you can find a conveniently placed knot-hole or something… maybe we could come up with something around the Shottingham thing, although that said there was a shooting in Derby the other week so that’d be a bit two-faced…

So it’s Sheffield Wednesday up next for you - they must’ve had a bad start as they’re one of the 7 teams below you in the league, fancy your chances up at Hillsborough?

Well Lupoli’s banned now thanks to the Doncaster match, but there’s a few rested guys coming back, overall we’ve not been too bad away from home in the league - the Owls haven’t won at home yet, so the signs are good, I suppose! That’s probably the kiss of death now, they’ve got Tudgay of course who used to play for us. Doesn’t really compare with your clash of the titans game at Tranmere does it?

I suppose not! It’s gonna be tough for us, we need to up our performances if we’re gonna stay top, that’s for sure!

Good, wouldn’t want to see you finding it too easy down there!

I always felt a bit sorry for Gaz when he was with us - he was bought by Hart as a player to come off the bench and change a game (in my opinion), but was rushed into the side when still recovering from an injury to replace David Johnson, who’d just broken his leg, and ever since then he’s been a scapegoat to sections of the Forest support.

Forest fans like a scapegoat, they always have done.  Gareth of course was unfortunate to be at the club during a particularly bad ebb in our history, but why he was singled out for so much abuse always puzzled me over a time when there may have been more talented footballers on the pitch who quite clearly weren’t putting in as much effort.

Certainly he seems rejuvenated at Tranmere Rovers this season - he’s scored a couple, had a few assists and is yet to pick up a booking, and any scriptwriter worth his salt would have him popping up with the winning goal infront of the away end at Prenton Park on saturday.  As a neutral I could see the appeal in that, naturally as a Forest fan it would be horrendous!

I still harbour fond memories of Taylor ending our sequence of games without a win with a diving header against Bradford infront of the Trent End, and numerous other times his unglamourous but hard work earned us points - I wasn’t hugely sorry to see him leave, because we do have better players now, in my opinion, and certainly I believe he needed to get away from a place that must have been a nightmare for him at times. 

He’s a player to whose strengths we never played, and as such I’m sure he was as disappointed as we were with his output in terms of goals or assists - let’s just hope that Calderwood has a better idea about what his strengths are than Hart, Kinnear and Megson did - because then we might have half a chance of nullifying them, but I can remember Taylor causing aerial havoc in our defence before we signed him, and I fear he’ll do the same tomorrow.

There seems to be a draconian feel to security at the City Ground again this season. I’ve been privileged or restless enough to have sampled a number of locations at the City Ground over the last few seasons, and there is definitely a difference in the severity of stewarding in different parts of the ground.

Since the infamous stand-off between the fans and security personnel in the A Block, and the subsequent ban on under 21s from sitting in that section of the ground, it’s been sad to see the club apparently try to kill the post-terrace atmosphere generating portion of the ground. Even now, when the block is rarely full, there is regularly fractious moments between the fans who have the temerity to stand up and the over-zealous yellow jacketed knuckleheads waiting to drag them from the stands causing further conflict for the remaining stewards and supporters.

As the draconian measures imposed in the Main Stand were played out, there was a notable migration of atmosphere heading towards Capital One Corner and the Upper Bridgford, probably partially inspired by the cheaper tickets back in the days of Pinnacle Place. Again, the heinous act of standing up is more often than not what seems to rile our yellow jacketed friends, and gesturing seems to be the new faux pas that will see you get a stern telling off in the concourse. Some of the ejections I’ve witnessed, I’m genuinely mystified as to what act was perpetrated by the confused looking person being shoved down the stairs.

Whilst I accept that the stewards and police are in a tough position, I can’t help but feel there are elements of their behaviour that make situations worse, or sometimes even cause them. At a football match emotions run high, and inevitably fans will stand up, they’ll swear, they might even - heaven forbid - choose to execute a graceful ‘wanker sign’ at the away fans. Does this really warrant such extreme measures? Would public safety actually genuinely suffer if somebody uses their legs for what they are designed for for a couple of minutes?

Of course, football is increasingly becoming a ‘consumer’ industry, and attracts kids and families who ideally shouldn’t really pick up this kind of behaviour for the playground, but it seems to me that there must be a more intelligent and less provocative way of managing this than employing a squad of knuckle-draggers* who frankly often behave with less decorum and politeness than many of the so-called offenders they wade in to deal with. Iit seems that our stewards sit either end of a polarity with the reasonable and ordinary people at one end who are thankfully in the majority, and the kind of blokes who would’ve been recruited for the Hitler Youth movement in 1930s Germany.

One thing that did used to rile me was the apparent discrepency between the treatment of away fans and home fans, I’ve only sat in the Upper Bridgford once this season, but it was interesting to note that the stewards covering the away fans now seem to be just as zealous with our visitors as I’ve seen them with the home fans - particularly the chap so amusingly caricatured in ‘the Stewards’ series of cartoons in the now defunct LTLF fanzine (I think you can still download PDF files of the ‘zine at this link if you never saw it).

I guess when people suggested the two sets of fans be treated the same, they were hoping for the Forest fans to be treated better, not the away fans to be treated worse! But at least if an away fan does a wanker sign at you, you might see ‘em get a word from a boy in yellow rather than you feeling compelled to reply in kind and get escorted out… I suppose that’s equality of sorts. The visit of Swansea will be interesting this year, that’s for sure - I might move my ticket to the Bridgford End again to get a better view!

* This element do not represent all the stewards I’ve witnessed, the majority are sound blokes whose job is made tougher by the bone-head minority.

I’ve been dying to use that lyric from ‘Jean Genie’ by David Bowie ever since we signed Agogo, and Colin Calderwood has duly obliged by talking of the playing relationship between the two Forest strikers.  Grant has been our hero of the year, banging in 5 (or 6?) goals so far this campaign that see us sitting uneasily on top of the league.

But Calderwood thinks that the introduction of Agogo’s pace and power will help to get more out of Grant Holt, as well as adding extra competition for places - which is already quite fierce with Lester, Harris, Dobie and in not too long Tyson all pushing for a place up front.

Colin has been delighted with Grant Holt so far, but believes he can improve, and will need to keep putting in 100% to fend off the challenge from our other strikers, who will of course all need to be giving it their all in training or reserve fixtures in order to force their way into contention.  All in all, a pretty healthy position for us to be in up front.

It’s a shame the same can’t be said for our midfield

Kris Commons’ road to recovery took a positive step after a reserve encounter with Leeds last night.  The left-winger played a little over an hour in the fixture, and had a hand in three of the four goals Forest scored on the night.

Certainly his performance impressed Colin Calderwood enough to include Commons in the squad to take the trip up to Tranmere Rovers on saturday, assuming that there is no adverse reaction to his return to action.  This is excellent news, Commons returning to midfield will not only give us his obvious creative talent to take the pressure off Southall, but will give us the left sided balance we’ve been craving, as well as taking pressure from poor Julian Bennett who’s looked very exposed at left back recently.

Fingers crossed he’s fit and raring to go - we will cause sides a lot more problems when they realise they can’t just stick two men on Southall to stifle our creativity!

I can’t think of any better way to remember Brian Clough, and the wonderful things he brought not only to Nottingham Forest, but to all of football, than by shamelessly quoting the below poem by David Prowse.  As the Nottingham Statue Fund nears completion, I look forward to a time when I’ll see your image every time I visit the fair city of Nottingham.  Thanks for everything, Mr Clough.

What made him so endearing is elusive to explain,
This tyrant in a sweatshirt, barking orders in the rain.
Today he’d offer vitriol, tomorrow marzipan,
A paradox, a puzzle but a diamond of a man.

When the gods apportioned modesty, one youngster wasn’t there,
He was in the queue marked ‘confidence’ receiving twice his share,
With two good feet beneath him, he considered it enough
And so was born the bantam-cock we knew as Brian Clough.

Young Cloughie did things his way for no one showed him how,
Emerging from the back-streets like a blossom on a bough,
Becoming proud and peerless as a hero of his time
And then, one tackle later, down and out at twenty-nine.

Where others might have wilted or nestled in their grief,
Cloughie found salvation in his cocky self belief,
Come setback or adversity, a man is still a man,
So it was as one dream ended that another one began.

Reality was Hartlepool, the lowest of them all,
In the fourth division basement with their backs against the wall,
All patchwork roofs and puddles and frostbite in the shade,
It was hard and it was humbling but the boy would learn his trade.

Along came Peter Taylor and the dug-out was complete,
Two canny minds would meet and merge to share the judgement seat,
Two mop-and-bucket soldiers to pound a broken drum
But the cavalry would gather and the glory days would come.

For Cloughie had a quality no training can provide,
The gift of lending common men a jauntiness of stride,
Players tapped abilities they didn’t know were there
And good ones climbed to greatness on a goading and a glare.

Cloughie’s team played football in the manner meant to be,
A joy for those who wore his shirt and those who came to see,
No arguments, no ego-trips, no stars to shine alone
As Cloughie scolded, Cloughie scowled… and loved them as his own.

For behind the bullish phrases, all the arrogance and pride,
There beat a kindly human heart as deep as it was wide,
Deserving of an epitaph significant but sad…
Just the greatest England manager that England never had.

Doesn’t matter how many times I read it, it never fails to bring a tear to the eye - and evoke memories of Brian’s widow Barbara reading it on a storm-tossed night at Pride Park a little under two years ago.

Some young ‘uns might feel that this chant is purely inspired by Soccer AM’s now ‘legendary’ wrestler sketches. You’ll see them squabbling with one another in all manner of locations followed by a rendition of today’s strange chant.

You all know it. You wait until you’ve scored, or saved a penalty, or maybe when an opponent fluffs an easy chance, you stand up, you clap your hands above your head with straight arms, and you begin:

“Easeh! Easeh! Easeh!” (repeat ad infinitum)

This certainly isn’t restricted to Nottingham Forest fans, far from it, it’s a national phenomenon and it’s possibly the single most irritating thing to have infiltrated the terraces of England in living memory. It should stop. Consider this a campaign! I like Soccer AM, but in unleashing this travesty upon us they have a lot to answer for!

But consider this - the wrestlers on Sky’s morning football show are inspired by none other than these two shady characters. Now Big Daddy certainly entertained me as a younger person, and may he rest in peace, but do you really want to take your role model from a full grown, nay, an overgrown man in a leotard? He’s called Shirley too, you know! For shame. And the least said about his nemesis / comedy foil ‘Giant Haystacks’, also known as Martin Ruane, the better!

Never-say-die striker Nathan Tyson has been recuperating really well according to latest reports coming from Forest HQ.  The lethal frontman has been working hard on his recuperation from a torn medial ligament on the opening day of the season, and is hopeful that the initial estimate of a four month layoff was somewhat exaggerated.

He was due to return to contention in December, but after advice from doctors Nathan believes he could be back in training within 4-5 weeks, which gives him a prospective return date of November rather than December, whcih is a massive bonus to both Tys, who must be driving himself barmy having to wear a leg brace, and to Forest - whilst we’ve gotten results without him, the dimension he gives the side is a huge boost - not least because in a pinch he can cover the left wing!!

I was blessed with being tolerant, so I have amongst my acquaintances a number of supporters of Derby County, ranging from colleagues to friends - I thought it would be interesting to interview one of them, this is that interview.

Hello, it’s not been the best of starts for the mutton molesters this season, has it?

I’m not going to answer all these questions if you keep referring to us like that! But no, it’s been a disappointing season so far, but we’re picking up, we beat Wolves and drew with Preston so at least we’re not so close to you red dogs anymore!

Hang on! How can you say ‘red dogs’ yet I’m not allowed to say ‘mutton molesters’ - doesn’t seem fair, shall we have a truce and stick to F*rest for you, and D*rby for me?

Sounds fair, I suppose!

Let’s ignore current affairs, what with us being top of the league and everything, and concentrate on the rivalry factor - would you rather Forest got promoted so we can play one another again?

I couldn’t say that to my Derby mates, but safe in this anonymous environment then definitely - the buzz at fixtures between the two teams is immense, of course, we’ve had the better of those fixtures lately too, maybe that means we’re due a beating from F*rest, but I doubt it somehow.

I suppose you’re one of those sad buggers who bought t-shirts with coffee cups on it and limited edition DVDs of the game featuring Barry Roche’s ‘heroics’?

Ha! No, I don’t own the DVD, although I think if you search on YouTube hard enough you’ll find all you need to cheer yourself up.  Barry Roche is a legend in Derby after that game, although if I take my Rams-tinted glasses off for a moment, had he not had a ‘mare I seem to recall Forest finishing reasonably strongly in that game.

I’ve never had a longer walk than that walk from Shite Park to D*rby station among the smiling D*rby chavs…

Easy! It was a great day for us, I remember feeling similar when you hammered us 3-0 at the Shitty Ground in the season you lost the playoff semi to the Blades.

Yeah, thanks for reminding me of that!

You can always rely on Des Walker to cheer up a Derby fan!

Poor Des.  Anyway, so aside from secretly wanting Forest to get promoted, what are your hopes for the season?

I wouldn’t want F*rest to win the league, maybe limp into second place or through the playoffs.  For Derby I had hoped we’d be in contention for the playoffs, but given our start I guess midtable will have to do - we’re in a ‘transition period’ apparently - it’s quite frustrating.

Surely Forest getting promoted isn’t really that important, after all you have a rivalry with Leicester City, don’t you?

It’s not the same, and you know it! Their fans shout louder when the F*rest and D*rby scores are read out at half time (if they’re losing) then when their own team scores!  We don’t really give a rats ass about them much like I don’t think the F*rest fans do - Leicester are just desperate for someone to hate them back, horrible bunch of fans, they are.

And that’s all for now, I may revisit this as an idea, either with the same D*rby fan or perhaps some of the others I know if they’re willing.

Tranmere Rovers boss Ronnie Moore has been back in the press today eulogising about striker Calvin Zola, who has been covering for the injured Chris Greenacre and playing alongside former Forest captain Gareth Taylor up front for the Birkenhead club.

“He’s a rough diamond, he just needs polishing” said Moore, of the striker - who arrived at Prenton Park on a free from Newcastle, having spent time at Oldham on loan.  He’s scored one goal so far this season, against Northampton, and is said to link up well with big Gaz, so let’s hope we don’t have another day of clown defending and Paul Smith is on top of his game!